The Real World

by tontie777

for the Novice Round

 
 

Verdict

Tom Fulp

You've created some real human moments with your NATA entries so far, nice work!

Stejk Robot

You got some great writing in this one, it's so real and natural. It was a bit long but it didnt drag, i wanted to know how it ended so it still kept my atention through out the whole thing.

Rice Pirate

The piece has a lot of heart and is highly ambitious with it's 2+ minute length. Parts of the animation were very well done, and due to the dialogue-driven nature of the piece I can see why there was a lot of (more static) conversational animation. It takes time to drive home a point, and casual dialogue does help to establish characters, I just felt some of the dialogue dragged a bit. One of the hardest things to do as a writer is to "cut", but it's also the number one piece of advice many successful writers share. Overall very charming.

Mind Chamber

a great script that really does a formidable job of creating deep characters in a short. Im not a fan of these noses, though., I know its the IN thing, but never liked it. The dude looked like a Bison, and the girl reminded me of a bat.

Total
63.5 / 80
Artwork
11 / 16
Animation
12.5 / 16
Originality
13.5 / 16
Story
14.5 / 16
Entertainment
12 / 16

Score Breakdown

  •  
  • Artwork
  • Animation
  • Originality
  • Story
  • Entertainment
  • Total
  • Average
  • TomFulp
  • 3
  • 3.5
  • 3.5
  • 3.5
  • 3
  • 16.5
  • 3.3
  • StejkRobot
  • 3
  • 3
  • 2
  • 4
  • 2
  • 14
  • 2.8
  • RicePirate
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 3
  • 3
  • 15
  • 3
  • MindChamber
  • 3
  • 3
  • 4
  • 4
  • 4
  • 18
  • 3.6
  • Totals
  • 11
  • 12.5
  • 13.5
  • 14.5
  • 12
  • 63.5
  • 12.7